Too Good to Be True

I don’t know soooo much about businesses other than my own… and I keep proving this to myself… I’m continually amazed to be in this part of life, and in this branch of show-business, I feel LUCKY and I even wake up and still feel like Jed Clampet, in the Beverly hillbillys song, where I once “barely kept his family fed…” and then found “black gold” in comedy… maybe not as lucrative (I can only visit Beverly Hills…) But I’ve been doin’ it a while; more than 25 years and haven’t starved YET…

But I still surprise myself, when it comes to silliness… Case in point, a few years ago, I bought a Walt Disney autograph at an estate sale… it was in a book of photos, and it wasn’t expensive… and I thought I’d take a chance… there was a story with it, and I thought OK “roll the dice.”

It’s taken me several years (later) to finally have the time and the autograph in my hand and the foresight to get this appraised, especially as Walt Disney autographs (if you’re into such things) have appreciated and are at the height of their value… (Well, it turns out they’re valuable ONLY if they’re real…) and mine wasn’t… According to the expert it was a “bad fake” as if “fake” wasn’t enough, I had to be duped by a “bad” one… And I mean, it wasn’t in crayon, it was spelled correctly, it’s not THAT bad, just, I guess one that looked unlike any other time Walt Disney had ever signed his name. Maybe he was observing "left handed" day, NO??? RATS, was all I could think of to say, (well I thought of other words but my Blog is PG…) Darn, after such high hopes and careful safe-keeping for ALL these years…

I guess even in the little things, when something seems “too good to be true” it most often is. You don’t buy something for $20 dollars, that’s worth $2000 USUALLY. (But later that same day I read about a guy who bought a Picasso print for $14 at a thrift store that no one knew was a Picasso until he re-framed it and Picasso’s name was at the bottom of the picture…) It’s stories like that that keep the garage sale “illicit autograph” trade in business, oh wait, maybe it’s gullible, sentimental, feeling lucky peeps like me that keep ‘em in business.

Anyhow, there are bright spots, I didn’t spend $1000 to try to make $2000… that would’ve sent me to a bitter lesson spot, rather than a “life’s sometimes funny” — ‘slightly less bitter’ spot. And after this life lesson, I get on a plane to fly to my usual work these days… a cruise. And the boat leaves from a town where some old friends live. In keepin’ in touch with them I mention that I’m getting in late and it turns out they’re comin’ back into town from their trip at the same time, and we go out to a nice and VERY late dinner and catch up…

We laugh at old stories that haven’t been told in a while, and just sit in that comfortable time that is what long time friendship should be made of. Something you read about in books, something that takes all the disappointment and bitterness out of a day, even a whole weekend. And it happens often when I get together with old (and getting older… sigh) pals… Sometimes, I guess, “too good to be true,” doesn’t apply when you’re talking about friends…

Road Weary, Road Wise

Too quick time home, too much time away… has been my most recent months. Away on the boats of my safety net has been made of the last few years, the big bill payers, the retirement helper, and the peace bringer (financially) of this (at times sketchy) show-biz life.

There’s a trade off with every choice, I see it more clearly as I age, and with every time gone; as it’s been 25 years of being in comedy and calling it my LIVING, (well, because it IS my living...) My little ones aren’t little and aren’t in the house, but occasionally (mercifully) still need a chat, my friends (who were never IN the house) also need to recall that I’m still a friend, and the family left over (near and far) should always be aware (but aren’t often informed that they are) at the front of thoughts even when they’re thoughts from far away.

With all the continual goings on in the world, politics, and war (are those redundant?) and the seeking of right, or just survival, (for a very FEW those are redundant) I truly enjoy my little stage corner of the world, my escapist/vacation from troubles for the audience and am so grateful that I can find employment making people laugh.

Still the trade off of this professional choice is being gone and that’s not fun when something sad, or hard, or even happy happens, or worse when a bad that happens that turns to sad, or by missing a happy, it can be sad. On the bad parts, I cannot drive across town and fix anything, or just lend my voice to the suggestions, or to try to make it better, or when something is not to be made better, I can not help catch or wipe away the tears, and on the happy, I don't get to hear the music of laughter. It’s admittedly one of the worse parts of my choice, and truthfully, I wish there was some comedy in that.

When I’m gone, (I mean the short term gone, not the long term "dirt nap" gone...) I hope to be better, or at least get better, at what I do when I come back and who knows, maybe someday they will pay me to be funny from home, or at least closer to home, and maybe there’s a few tears that I can wipe away, or laughter I can join in rather than produce.

I think there’s always going to be tears, it makes the laughter that we have, and that I sometime get to make, so valuable by comparison. I like the idea that you should laugh while you can, when you can, and I’ll try to get a few on the receiving end as I'm able, whether here or there...

Bigger Picture

I like to think I’m a relatively calm guy, I like to think I hit the high percentage of looking at the big picture, or bigger picture of what’s going on… but what I like to think about myself isn’t always what happens.

The other day, I have an early flight, and being a well-weathered (and thought to be well self-informed) traveler, I get into the taxi line early… Almost EARLIEST… (one couple ahead of me… not bad!) And the line preceded (is that “postceded” since it’s after me) to soon stretch into infinity as folks lined up to finish their vacation and go back home by way of the airport… (at least that was my plan, sans the vacation… ‘cause I was workin’) The taxi dispatcher nicely grabbed the couples bags and helped them into the one cab that was there… Came over to myself (and a pal) and went to grab my bag (I pack light… carry on) and I said, “I got it…” and he moved over to my pal (the bags are all cabled together for easy transport and he said “I got it…” and I figured that was it…

Well naive me, it was a pay for play situation… you let him carry your bags, you tip him, he puts you in the next cab… I’ve traveled over 2 million miles on different airlines, have been in my share of cabs… and still learn stuff… And sometimes my learning comes in abrupt lessons… He moved to the group behind, grabbed their bags and moved them in front of us… “Hmmmm?!?” I thought… There was still no cab, and so I gave the benefit of the doubt, that what might be happening wasn’t happening… 5 minutes passed which can seem like a while when you’re getting an early flight to go home… and ONE cab came… ONE!!! And he waved it up to the couple who WERE originally behind us, and now up in front and he moved to put their bags in the cab’s trunk… as I walked over to put my bags in it…

I was never great at basketball, but he put a great pick on me, to stop me from putting my bag in… So I mentioned that WE were next in line, actually FIRST in line at this point… and he suggested that no we weren’t… Oh I hate injustice, especially if you have to pay for justice… I don’t argue with strangers well, so I just asked the beat cop to be judge and jury (and if necessary executioner of the taxi dispatcher…) and the officer smiled at the situation and said as wise as Solomon might’ve… “The bags are in that one, you get the next one…” The 2 minutes until the next cab came seemed like 10 times as long as the 5 minutes for the last one… (which was actually the second one remember?) and I was pretty mad at the taxi dispatcher…, and he was mad at me…

Now I’d had a good week, and how can someone let 5 minutes wreck so much good time… The lesson is DON’T! Big Picture it… Maybe I should’ve said: “I’d like the next one please…” or “is the next one mine?” The bottom line is that I’m gonna catch my flight, the world’s not gonna end, even if 5 minutes seems like eternity… it’s not… There were a zillion cabs coming, enough to draw the crowd down from infinity…

Tie it into comedy Bruner: Comics are sometimes heckled, it’s the same thing, the next joke is the next cab, it’s my turn, but someone else wants the spotlight… I do think sometimes, the limelight is big enough for everyone, it can be shared, or even given, like the cab to the dispatcher’s tipping folks, ‘cause more laughs and cabs are comin’. And as long as you get to your destination, with a calm and pleasant (hopefully funny) demeanor… all is well…

It’s easier for the ‘Big Picture’ to reduce the temper when you know the situation is just temporary…

Listening in…

I spend a good amount of time writing, (or tryin’ to write anyways…) It’s never enough for my own satisfaction, but a lot (I tell myself and like to think…) I try to write everyday. It’s never all “good.” (OK 2 magic days in 20+ years I had everything I wrote down turn into a usable joke but only 2… and I didn’t say they were great jokes… I just used them…) I liken most usual days to a singer warming up, (as I might’ve said previously) when it’s bad writing, it’s like that singer clearing their throat… ain’t pretty (well, ain’t funny) but you got to do it to get the pipes warmed up enough hit the right notes. When I have to, I get out the unfunny stuff, and one problem is, some of that writing I don’t know that it’s unfunny until audiences tell me so…

However, sometimes the idea’s still there, but not the right or funny idea, not the right or funny direction, or the right or funny presentation… (One of those!!) So I seek to find perspective, share with a few other comics I chat with, ask myself with “a day or three” rest of the thought in question in-between, and I have even had large success with a chat to the audience (during or after) who sometimes point out the thought I meant to have, or the righter-thought (i.e. funnier-thought) than the one that came out on stage…

In an elevator, or at dinner, mostly after a show, more often than a few times, in the conversation following the attempt at laughs, some folks have passed on a thought, and it happens even when they relay a joke idea back to me in the way they understood it, that it sometimes comes across clearer than the way I originally thought I was saying it. And when that happens I certainly try to THEN make it easier for the audience to GET than the way I originally presented it… My suggestion to anyone, in comedy or not, even if you’re in the “thinking up and then presenting thoughts” business… is if one isn’t sure if they’re getting their idea across… First, ask those that you trust who might know where you hope to be going with the thought, Second, ask yourself when you have taken a break and keep workin’ until the thought sounds more “right…” and third, anyone’s perspective that might not be in the business is still valuable because if it doesn’t sound right, at least you can cross it off the “well that doesn’t sound right” LIST…

They say laughter is the best medicine… sometimes you have to tool with the prescription to get the right dose… I suggest using the doctor analogy, to ask a second opinion, and above all listen to the reaction…

The best part is if it doesn’t work, you can always laugh at yourself…

Good luck and keep laughing…

The Gaps

Another Monday comin’ in the short month, and good for the people that work “regular” jobs, this Monday is a day off for most. As a comic I sometimes lose track of holidays, as my work schedule doesn’t include as many. My vacation days and weekends are the days I don’t have a show (or gig) or travel. Todays one like that… travel on the way to a show.

I survived the 25^th anniversary of bein’ paid to make people laugh (and dropping other forms of work to feed myself) and it’s now into the second quarter century of (hopefully) making a living of humor. With the things I’ve thought and the things I say… which aren’t ALWAYS the things I’d thought I’d say… That audience/performance filter is maybe the last stage of writing… You have it in your brain a certain way and then you have to say it so it makes sense to THEM.

I’ve worked with a couple friends who reminded me of a good comedy thought. At first I wanted laughs, ANY laughs… from what I was saying that I thought were jokes… Then it was more laughs from more jokes, (a real confidence builder…) and finally it was GOOD laughs… which comes from GOOD JOKES. The ones where they laugh ‘cause you’re communicating what you want at the LEVEL you want. So jokes, laughs, good jokes, good laughs... Then it’s tags... as I may have mentioned in another blog and "Tags" are like extended thoughts on the first joke/premise that make them laugh harder or better or more. (Some folks. act out their punch-lines much to the same effect…)

But one thing I forgot in Comedy and in LIFE… You want good silences, or as some pals recently pointed out, gaps. By “Gaps” I mean those powerful moments when everyone is waiting for the next thing to happen and you’re the one in charge of both the quiet and the soon to be not quiet. The tension when people are “with” you, along for YOUR ride, and it's a moment in a show that is wonderful to have in your control.

Life sometimes needs that quiet in between the action too, and I forgot how powerful it is to notice that. Sometimes unlike the stage, we're not in charge of the "action" in our lives, but if we can notice the quiet, it's sometimes just as powerful. I hope in your life and in your laughs this week, month, year, or for the next 25 you get to enjoy your gaps in the noise.

Laugh with you soon.

Abundance

I was introduced to a thought a couple of years ago… from someone I’d call a philosopher, Dr. Wayne Dyer. In one of his books I read about the thought of opening your life to the concept of “abundance…” I don’t have the chapter in front of me, and I'll try not misquote or mis-apply the thought, but what I understood is the idea of opening your “awareness” to the abundance of the world…

For example: I used to not pick up pennies if they were tails, “bad luck” I'd say and the woman I was dating, (now my wife) asked, "how is gettin’ a penny bad luck?" Well, when someone points out that you’re silly in such a logical way, if you’re smart enough, you change your thinking… And that penny was my first abundance… Since that week, where I read, and I stopped coming up with reasons to NOT pick up money… I have found over $300.00 on the ground, on the street, sometimes when passing through a casino, and not just in the USA, but in several foreign countries, etc. etc.

One time I was telling my sister about the thought, and we walked out and on the street was a $10 bill, and we laughed and for a minute I think she thought I had actually PLANTED it there during out lunch to make a point... but she knows I'm too cheap to take that kinda chance with $10!!!

Yeah, I’d say I’m lucky but not just for this… Sure I keep my eyes open, I now CONSCIOUSLY think that I’m gonna find change and/or money… this is/was just a new way of being AWARE. A new thought that I practice thinking...

More than just that, I needed something to do with my new found Abundance… how can I give back… with this new "LUCK"??? And I found a way, to share it...

I found this organization call Kiva.org where they allow people who have (or FIND) a little extra… to give micro-loans to various parts of the world… It’s call a micro-loan, 'cause they can be made in amounts of $25 given individually but pooled with other micro-loans. You don’t get interest on the loan, and I think you can get updates, but I just like giving. Here's how it works for me, when I find some money, I put it in a jar and when it gets to about $10+ I count it out, put it in the bank, double it from my own earnings and make a loan… In about a year you most often get paid back and can take the money out and keep it, or re-loan it… which is what I have done... My $300+ find, (added to as I have) has made over 200 loans in the past few years, and it’s one of my favorite feelings. I’ve kept it pretty quiet ‘cause I didn’t want the idea of the loan to be anything about me, but I just crossed 25 years in comedy, and it’s not a bad thing to introduce others to new ways they can help people. I've introduced friends (Shout out to Katsy’s first loan) and family to it, have even asked some to give to Kiva instead of a present... Anyhow, I'm gonna now put it out when I make a loan on Facebook and hopefully if anyone finds abundance in their bank account, or on the street, they too can do something good with it.

Giving, and now sharing the information… maybe that’s the real ABUNDANCE I’ve been allowed to FIND.